Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
The holidays are a funny time of year. They tend to stir up all kinds of feelings that we’ve been shoving in a little sachet hidden deep within us that maybe we planned to clean out at some point, but maybe not. For those of us who have lost loved ones, this time of year often funnels shards of memories into our minds and hearts. As we take part in family traditions – long decadent meals, gift giving, singing holiday songs and prayers – it becomes very apparent who is no longer sitting at the table with us. Maybe we leave a spot for their soul, or maybe we don’t, but the memories always linger in the places they loved to dwell.
This time of year also gets us thinking about “New Beginnings” and of course the many unresolved things that still remain from the past year. It’s difficult to sit with these bits of dreams, anguishes, stagnancies and heartbreaks. We tend to ask ourselves: “WHEN will this happen?” or “WHEN will this end?” or “Will I EVER feel normal again?” Yet as much as we ask and pray to the heavens, nothing seems to change. Our cries are rendered useless and we are left with no other choice but to hand the sachet over to Patience.
I’ve had quite a long relationship with Patience. So long that I would really love to politely ask her to hit the road as she is no longer welcome. But of course she stubbornly stays and I am left with nothing else but to trust that she is with me for a very important reason. Patience usually travels with Surrender and these two gals often help us let go of many of the unresolved bits of life that settle in our hearts. They force us to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe just maybe, we need to be ok with waiting and in the time that we wait we actually learn so much about ourselves – more than we ever thought we could. Maybe we begin to confront the grief and the failures and the pain and the dreams we’ve been hoping to realize. And maybe through all of it we become so strong that Patience leaves, seeing that she is no longer needed. And after all the agony, we forget why she came.
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